Set your alarm to wake you up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow morning. Eat a fucking breakfast this time. Plan on leaving for work 15 minutes earlier than you normally do. Start your car 10 minutes before you normally do. Scrape the ice off of your windows. Really, I'm not joking, scrape the ice off your windows so you don't hit me when I drive by you. And when you finally are still late for work.....CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
You don't have your snow tires on yet because you're too "busy" and other things take "priority". And your supa dupa hybrid pink escalade ain't gonna keep you on the road. It's 4 wheel GO, not STOP or TURN. It's doesn't work like that Bay State Bitches. Take it easy and take it slow. I'm sure your boss would rather have you there 15 minutes later rather than the alternatives. If for no other reason than the fear of my big ugly mug stepping out of my vehicle tomorrow morning to come over and beat your ass after you just hit me because it's "slippery", DRIVE (don't be a passenger in the driver's seat) a little slower and a little more cautiously tomorrow. And for the love of God, PUT YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE DOWN YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER. Yep, that's exactly how I feel. And finally if you hit me with a plate that isn't green, 'xpect a "Yep, it does that here. It's called snow. Now see how your face feels buried in it."
No comments:
Post a Comment